When the girls meet up, the topic of our conversation will always revolve around what lies ahead of us, how unstable life is, who else in the group is getting engaged or married, who just gave birth, work life, etc.
Tonight, we talked again. I found out that one of us is getting engaged this year and married next year, and that means we'll lose her as she will be going back to Indonesia. Our gang is getting smaller and smaller as time passes by, as many realize that going back to Indonesia is the way to go and not be stuck in this country. It made us think that maybe we should also go back one day. It's really sad that the Singapore chapter, which 40 of us started 11 years ago, has to finally be closed one day.
Those who are still stuck here, with no clear direction, are always in dilemma. We always talk about this dilemma, every time we meet, but there is always no solution. We spent our youths here, we are comfortable with Singapore lifestyle, we feel safe here, many of our friends are here, but this is not our hometown...this is not where we belong...this is not where our family is...this is not where our family wishes us to be in. You wouldn't want to be in our shoes. It sucks not knowing what's next. Sometimes it made us think whether the decision to come to Singapore is the wisest decision ever.
For those who finally decided to close the Singapore chapter, they left mostly because they found someone to marry in Indonesia. Everything's clear...go back home, get married, and settle down there. It's a happy ending for both the family and the newly-wed. For those of us who are still stuck here, we have been wishing to find the right partner, who will decide where our future will be and whether we can still give ourselves another 2-3 years here.
Tonight, I promise the girls that I will still organize gatherings, even though one day all of us may be separated by islands. It's really really sad...we 'grew up' together in this country, away from our family, supporting each other since we were 14/15 years old. Some of us were separated by schools since secondary school, some of us shared same hostels, some were united in the JCs and universities, and yet the bond between us still grows stronger as time passes by. I can't imagine the day I have to leave this country, leaving behind my best friends, and the memories we have crafted together! Maybe Singapore is the perfect reunion spot for all of us. I just wish that one day, we will still be able to meet up to laugh and cry together, even though each one of us already has our own married life to take care of.
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