I used to be strong...
I used to be undaunted by any challenges...
I used to be very optimistic in everything...

Only within a span of 9 months of working life, I have lost all these qualities almost completely...
Where is my strength? Where is my energy? Where is my optimism? Where is my burning desire to excel in a male-dominated field?

I am really tired...I'm tired of getting shit from people...
I get complaints, I get scolding, I get EVERYTHING that's NOT NICE...and it's not even my fault!!!
And I have to tidy up that shit to make everything more presentable to other party...
I have been thrown into the responsibility of tidying up a big mess, created by other people...but I have to tidy them up for the sake of company's name and reputation...
Why cant everyone just be responsible of his/her own task and do everything thoroughly?
Why must there be loopholes here and there for me to pick up and rectify?
Is it because everything is done in a rush? So who shall be blamed?

Haiz...I could simply point to those parties that should be responsible for all this mess...but what's the point of judging others? I'd rather get everything back to track...but it's really painful and mentally-drained to be handling this every single day...

I couldn't take it today to the point that I went to the toilet just to cry my heart out...

Is this really part and parcel of working life?

Homesick :(

The past 3 weeks had been a blast! Isadora came here from New Zealand to do attachments and stayed over at my place. We had such a great fun going out after work, watching movies on weekdays, eating good food, shopping, and having girls talks! It's really great to have her at my place as it brought more fun and joy to my already-so-boring-and-stressful work life.

But the consequence of going out too much and staying up late for most days was me being attacked by the powerful flu bugs. It's a blessing in disguise though...coz I managed to take MC on the day I was supposed to accompany my dad for medical check-up. My precious one-day annual leave is thankfully untouched!

The best part of the past 3 weeks was that my dad came over for the long Easter weekend...25 kg of good food was sent over by my mum (She's really worried that i'm going to die of hunger and starvation here,haha...) I really wished that i could turn back time to couple of days ago when my dad was around to accompany me here...We went to eat good food for Breakfast, lunch, and dinner for every single day...We went to watch "Shinjuku Incident"...We went KTV-ing...We went to the East Coast Park for a walk...It's such a bliss!!!

He left this morning...I dragged myself to work...lots of things happened at work (mostly uncomfortable things)...I went back home to find the house really empty...Tears dropped...I suddenly felt so lonely...I used to go back home together with my dad for the past few days...I used to see Isadora at home when i came back from work for the past 3 weeks...Suddenly I'm alone in that house...I'm so not used to it now...haiz...

I wanna go back Indo...suddenly i felt the urge for it...I wanna go back to my parents...I wanna see them every single day...Maybe one day I should just go back home for good :)

A perfect day!

6 pm : Leave the office
6.30 pm : MOS Burger for dinner
7.15 pm - 9 pm : Shopping! Sales are everywhere!
9 pm - 9.30 pm : Play Photo Hunt at Arcade
9.30 pm - 11.30 pm : Watch "Confessions of a Shopaholic"...Love the movie :)
11.30 pm : Catch the last train home
12 am - 12.30 am : Talk to him
12.30 am - ??? : Sweet dreams (No dreams on work, please...as work is not sweet,haha...)

It felt like a Friday but the reality is today's Thursday! Long day ahead tmr...