Oops, this blog has been pretty quite for the past 2 months, blame it to the 8.30-to-6 working hours every weekday. I have been wanting to write a lot about my job but i just havent gotten time to really sit down and craft those stories.
But for the past few days, there have been lots of things that bother me, to the point that I really need an avenue to vent it out. I have been having heart-to-heart conversations with my housemate, who is currently struggling to overcome both homesickness and stress at work. It is really not easy to counsel someone, even though I was once in her shoes 9 years ago when i first moved to Singapore. We have been talking a lot about life, our future, our friends and many more...Those conversations made us realize that we are pretty similar, in the sense that we dont get things that we want easily...we always have to put in efforts and work hard to get what we want and sometimes despite the efforts that we put in, we dont exactly get what we want...well, life is unfair, isn't it? And as human beings, we tend to compare ourselves to others, who fare better as compared to us, in term of work, pay, relationship, and many more...
Then I started to realize that if i were to compare myself to my friends in my hometown, i can easily conclude that I'm really behind them in terms of a lot of things. When I was busily studying during secondary school in Manado, lots of my friends were already busily dating...When I moved to Singapore, i was struggling with English and i continued to bury myself with my school work, my Manado friends were enjoying the high school period back then, with so much less work and more time to do other things except studying. They enrolled in the university earlier than me and eventually graduated earlier than me too...When i was struggling with university life in Singapore, many of them graduated and started to work...When i started dating, some of them have already planned for their wedding...When i graduated and just started to work my ass off to earn a living, some of them had gotten married and more friends are planning for marriage...and all these things just make me wonder, "When is my turn?" haha...even though i know that i am blinded by the bliss of marriage that is portrayed through the beautiful pre-wedding pictures posted in friendster and facebook and those honeymoon pictures that always tempt my fingers to click on them...
My parents just attended my friend's wedding last Saturday...they were simply representing me since i am not home...and today when i talked to my parents, they informed me of my other good friend who just sent an invitation to them for her engagement party...I was totally in shock, what happens to this world? Why are people getting married early? Even earlier than my mom's age, which was 25, when she got married...I initially thought marrying early is not the trend in today's world...maybe i'm just living in Singapore's context? And being in this context for years, does it mean that i will succumb to the trend of living here?
Haiz, the more i think about the future, about what is going to happen to me in the next few years, about my work, about relationship...the more i feel like running away from this reality and simply live in a dream...a dream with a happy ending ;)
